Thursday, November 20, 2008

R.I.P Uncle Bill (11-19-08)

My uncle died yesterday. He was only in his 50's. Isn't that sad? Apparently he had a massive hart attack when he was up on a latter in his garage.

He fell.

I cried.

very sad day for my family.

At first i was sad. But everybody is sad when someone you know dies right? I couldn't stop thinking about how the day before i was thinking about seeing him this year and fishing with him. But then i thought, he's going home now. . .good.

My parents do not know if my Uncle believed in Jesus, or if he went to church every Sunday. when i asked my dad if he went to heaven. He told me that he did not know.

Here is a summary of our conversation:

Me: At least he is in heaven now. . . He's happy.

Dad: I don't know. . .the bible is very specific. . (I don't remember the rest. .)

Me: God wouldn't turn down a good soul. I don't think he would reject someone who hadn't found Jesus yet. . would he?

In the end I got frustrated. My dad told me what he believed, and no matter how hard i tried, i could not make him tell me what i need to hear, or answer my questions. He didn't know.

I'm talking to My youth paster on Sunday.

Monday, November 10, 2008

I'm tired of not being able to do what i want to do.

1.) I want to see california, but i can't. . .maybe when i can drive. . .

2.) I want to drive.(but that will happen soon!)

3.) I wish i could ACT(TV).

4.) I want to see a broadway in New York. I guess i'll have to wait until i can work.

5.) Everyone in my family tells me i should be a hand model. Well, Why can't we try it? Oh, right. Stupid money.

6.) I really do not like the color of my room, but i have to live with it until we can get money.

7.) I really didn't want Obama for president, but i have to live with that.

8.) I'm tired of letting friends put me down. I'm getting frustrated.

9.) I don't like not having everything my friends have.

I don't know why i'm not content with my life-style. I have a roof over my head, family that loves me. Food. School. I have much more that half of the world does. But i still want to achive more. Does that make me selfish? Should i be worried. I haven't even finished 10th grade. And I'm ready to book it to California. . . Arghhh!

**screams on the inside**

On the better side, i love performing in my play, its GREAT! And i played candyland and go-fish in youthgroup. FUN!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Life is complicated. I'm not much of the type of girl who will flirt, so how do i let a guy know i'm seriously interested in him? My problem is that the guy a like has a girlfriend. This girlfriend treats him like crap. And I can tell that he is Unhappy. I think that the only reason he stays with her is because "she gives him what he wants"(A.K.A She's a slut) I watched her get him upset almost a billion times during homecoming, and her was to a solution is kissing him and dancing around. ARGH! Whats wrong with me?? ?I just don't get it. But i have to admit, watching him try to learn the electric slide is HILARIOS! HAHA!

My first performance for my play is on friday. WOOT! I'm totally stoked. If i could ever be on Broadway, i would. I LOVES IT!!

Anything else you might say? I have a headache. I have some sort of report due tomorrow. Crap. It's a collage, and i have half of my pictures. My GPA dropped way below what i wanted it to, and i am working on restoring it. And TWILIGHT COMES OUT IN 16 DAYS!!! WOOT! HAHA. The paramore music video was awsome.

I really need an I-Pod. Seriously. Bad. I'm going to use all of my christmas money (If i get any. . stupid money problems) to get one. TWILGHT SOUNDTRACK RELEASE TOMORROW!

See ya,

~~*A silly girl who says goodbye to invisible people and who has a headache*~~